Comments on: I am falling for him and am going to get burned

By: Shirley

Shirley — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 23:54:33 +0000

Susan, you would be wise to work very hard at figuring out just what attracts you to this man; a man who holds a carrot out of a possible future together, when really during those four calls per day (on the days he does call) what he’s taking from you is ENTIRE sum and substance that he needs - attention and admiration — but giving you nothing but false hope, since his affection is curiously different in person. That he hasn’t been married before should also be a red flag; likely, he has intimacy and a host of other issues which make him incompatible with someone like you: a smart, intelligent woman and mother with needs (but unwiling to use people to instantly gratify yourself). A genuine man, capable of caring, and of a genuine relationship, does not send the mixed messages he does. Those messages keep you off balance, cause you to analyze your relationship with him and other mentally perplexing questions you have about him and his potential that deprive you from an open, honest and in-the-present relationship. You deserve better. The next time he goes for days without calling you, tell yourself that you are a loving, and loveable person, and in a healthy relationship (even in its beginning) you deserve a man who will show you care and concern, friendship and honesty — not a hologram (i.e. sometimes there, gushing romanticly and sprinkling his conversation with future-potential inuendos; other times, just gone). If nothing else, remind yourself that when two people meet, they are usually on their best behavior, or supposed to be. If this man treats you this way now, what would he really be like 6 months from now, when people typically let you see the real “them.”? Good luck, and remember, you are special and you deserve better.

By: Genoveve

Genoveve — Sun, 08 Jan 2006 03:32:55 +0000

Hi, I will rather listen to Rinatta’s advice. Get out of there before it’s too late. Playing cool is just that: playing. Some people are natural at that. They can stay cool, unemotional, detached. You don’t seem to be like that or in this situation anyway. You need more, some reassurance. As you said yourslef, you are afraid that you are falling for this person. Persoanlly, I find it very difficult to dictate my heart when to fall and to take its time. Detachment can work in a number of situations but it usually has consequences such as innability to fully love again later on…

By: wanda

wanda — Tue, 27 Dec 2005 18:06:30 +0000

I beleive you should just play it cool - be aloof and do your own thing - 4 months is too short a time for a commitment- so at the moment dont ask him anything dont tell him anything and dont bother to look who else he is dating - give him his space maintain a dignified silence and if you really like him continue dating him but you the time tiy are with him -also date others- just be fun to be with -happy healthy and successful in your your life - make your life the best you can- make it exciting and vibrant -and live your life to the fullest. somthing wonderful may happen as you go about making yourself better and better - who knows maybe you could turn the tables and get him wondering what you are up too and who you are dating.so just detach while still caring about him - stay calm strong and aloof yet loving kind and supportive.