Comments on: I was confident, but now I am insecure. What do I do?

By: Alysia

Alysia — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:45:41 +0000

I seem to have this same on-going problem. I consider myself a very confident person. But when I am in a relationship, if I start to feel that I am falling in love, I lose every tiny little scrape of confidence I have. I begin to feel jealous of my boyfriend’s lady friends, I feel like it’s ridiculous that he could ever like me, I tend to get really emotional. And these are all things that I realize ruin relationships. All I want is to be as happy as I was when our relationship first began. But now I kind of just wish we’d break up because I feel like it’s too hard to be in love. It’s too hard to really trust someone with your heart. The other thing is that I lose confidence in every aspect of my life, not just my love life. I know that time away is supposed to help, but I wonder if maybe my problem is deeper than that. We spent ten days apart and have been together for the last three, but he is staying with me. Yesterday I began to feel insecure and unconfident again. Is it just that we were staying together? Or do I have some kind of deeper confidence problem?

By: richie parsons

richie parsons — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 20:41:55 +0000

ive been with my girlfriend for 6 months but feel really insecure always thinking she,s cheating even deep down i know she isn,t.This all stems back to a previous relationship were my partner did cheat .she is a wonderfull woman full of confidence which i seem to lack how can i stop feeling the way i do as she has said if it carries on then thats it.

By: Love Coach Rinatta Paries

Love Coach Rinatta Paries — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 10:45:38 +0000

Genoveve, see reply to your question on post titled “How Do I Take Time Alone In a Relationship” under Relationship category

By: Genoveve

Genoveve — Sun, 08 Jan 2006 03:52:30 +0000

Hi Rinatta. Going back to your advice to RR, how does the person who asks for time out (in this case, RR) make sure that they don’t start feeling insecure during their time out? I can see how questions such as ‘is she/he unhappy because I want this time to myself…are they going to leave me because I don’t want to be with them all the time…’ can storm someone’s mind…

By: Ashley Mitchell

Ashley Mitchell — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 14:40:53 +0000

This is really excellent advice, for people in any stage of a relationship. I have been with my boyfriend now for about 3 months, and up until 3 days ago we had spent time with each other every day for at least two weeks. I have not had any large chunks of alone time due to this, but now that he is out of town for a few days I have had a chance to tend to other areas of my life such as corresponding with relatives and friends, reading up on things that are of interest to me, etc.. and I feel really good! Better than I did before he left! I am reminded of why I like me, and why if I were anyone else I’d be crazy not to want to find out all the things I have to offer and share. Stay in touch with yourself, reenergize, gain perspective.. I am finding these things are very crucial to my success in being myself.. the only time I feel uncomfortable or insecure around members of the opposite sex, or anyone for that matter, is when I feel like who I really am isn’t shining through for whatever reason. I have made the commitment to myself to be more assertive with my boyfriend about making alone time for myself. I tried this before and got that familiar itch to call him to see what he was up to and when we could get together again, and gave in.. it’s natural to want to be with the one you like,or love,but just remember to be yourself and not let emotional cravings boss you around.