He Wanted Me and His Ex Wife
Q: Bett asks:
My two-year relationship with a man who is 15 years my senior has just ended. I have struggled for over a year with his inability to commit to me and his ongoing relationship with his ex-wife. Due to his having an affair throughout their 14 year marriage, he has developed a relationship with her that is based on dependence, guilt and obligation. He spends holidays, many family occasions, and some vacations with her and their college age children. It’s almost as if they are still married, yet he had this intimate relationship with me which the children and ex-wife were aware of. Was it unrealistic for me to expect that I was to be an important relationship in his life and to expect that he would respect my needs to be a priority? I was respectful of his relationship with his children, but the way it was set up was his ex-wife orchestrated the children’s lives and he just joined in as if they were still an intact family. I had many a sleepless night over this situation, until I could not stand to be the "other woman" any longer. Do you have any thoughts or experience with this type of relationship?
A: Love Coach Rinatta Paries answers:
Bett, some people are
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